Liberal Single Sided Accounting

The first year that I did the books for our small business, P & L and Balance Sheet, the real accountant at the end of the year who does our IRS taxes yelled at me. His big issue was in accounting saying - for every debit there is a credit. He then said he had seen smarter Monterrey Sea Otters than me. Note that Anchorman 2 claims that Monterrey Sea Otters are the world's dumbest creatures. After that year I was never yelled at by him again. I feel that was since I improved so much. Of course it also instead could be that I cried like a little girl with my mascara running everywhere, and then I poured his green ink in my hair, and then I shoved his IRS papers into the mouth of a large stuffed sea bass that was a trophy on his wall while using language that would embarrass most rappers. It could be either reason. I mean, really.

But then later I realized that accounting was just like life. Every time you help someone (debit), somebody else might get hurt (credit). My wife loved for us to visit my in laws for long hours. That was the debit. The credit was the huge loss to my sanity and self worth, accounts that were already low since my in laws clearly had my pin number. And on another day, a person picking me up at the airport said they were those two hours late since they were on the phone with a sad person. I did not say that I was even more sad. But again, for every debit there is a credit. The sea bass, or my accountant, or both, was right.

BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH LIBERALS? !!!
Well, everything. Liberals most often use single sided accounting.

Picture a normal liberal situation where they say that there are two sad dogs somewhere. Then they say:

"We must give them like a trillion dollars so they can have a dog house in Malibu like with dog maids and dog butlers... sputter.... sputter... like.. Now! It is the Right Thing To do!"

Clearly single side accounting. Most conservatives know there is something wrong with the above, and about 50% would tell Jesse Waters of Water's World on the street that they think the problem has something to do with money.

The other thing to watch for is the phrase "It is the right thing to do". When you hear this phrase know that you have just been politically screwed. You have now lost your political virginity, and your name and your cell phone number are now on numerous public bathroom divider walls, and you were not even taken out to dinner and a movie first.

Here are more examples of Liberal Single Sided Accounting:

Debit: Gay boys are confused so schools must let them any washroom that they wish. But the liberals never give the credit portion, which is:
Credit: School girls now have no privacy and may even be worried about their safety - or at minimum that the boys might borrow their makeup and not return it

Debit: We must give welfare to most US citizens and most of the world's 192 countries! Its the Right thing to do !! you worm !!! - without of course ever talking about the credit:
Credit: We have no money. So this adds hugely to our deficit and we must print more money killing the value of the US Dollar

and of course the liberal Superbowl Ring of them all.......

Debit: We must give free insurance to 30 million Americans, while adding even more Americans who are undocumented aliens, and we must add every single addition desired by Sandra Fluke including her Prada and Louis Vitton handbags to hold her pills. But do not worry, all rates will fall since this is single sided accounting. And if you like your plan you can keep your plan. And if you like your doctor, the NSA will soon find that out and we will snap torrid photos and blackmail your butt until you are totally cheekless and only have a vote Democratic button where your sexy bunny tail used to be..

Credit: Feel free to fill in (hint: watch Fox News instead of Huffington Compost).

Views: 36

Comment by Jerseygal on November 30, 2013 at 1:27pm

Good post, RN.  It sounds like you got a harsh lesson in double entry accounting.  I sort of did too, but my story isn't nearly as colorful as yours.  I couldn't afford technicolor.  If you want to have some fun, and are rather proficient in explaining double entry accounting, try telling someone who thinks they know it all, that their bank has the entire debit/credit process all screwed up and that you can prove it.

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