~ Where the Sun Will Never Set on Our liberty ~
It Ends With No Bang Or Whimper
Doctor: "And so" (reads from form) "Justa Voter ... why do you think you are depressed?"
Justa Voter: Life can be tough Doctor. We are born naked, cold and crying, and then things get worse. My next trauma was when I went to the zoo the first time, and the stork pretended that he didn't even recognize me. That was about the time my imaginary friend left me for another. And some of my relatives kept trying to give me back to the adoption agency even though I was not adopted. The adoption agency told my relatives that I was not adopted, but they said they merely had lost the receipt.
Then a few years went by and things got better. My self esteem rose to a record of 20.43% one day. And that was partly only because Oprah was handing out free esteem to her audience one day. But then endless bad politicians came in and destroyed everything.
First the politicians destroyed our economy, industry, jobs and debt by yelling to people, "You didn't built that!" They built it? Anyone see them in the rooms where you were working? A few politicians did everything while billions of historical Americans were more useless than white crayons or a UN Human Rights Council?
Then the politicians said most babies had to go. Those that dare to choose to live will be brainwashed by federal education programs into voting for those same politicians. They told parents, "You didn't build your kids! We did." I knew I guessed long ago that something was indeed strange. Especially when my neighbor's little girl was born wearing a pants suit.
Then the politicians said freedom of religion was over. They yelled at God and said, "You didn't build this universe! We did!" Then the politicians told the people that they must now worship them. The politicians burned churches, synagogues, destroyed Buddha statues and even pet rocks. It is not easy to burn a rock. But they were driven. Is nothing sacred? Little children cried. Pet dogs cried. Even onions cried. I cried the hardest.
With all of this evil around me. I went bad as well. To keep my sanity, I began to go to random porno sites of ladies I did not know and write in the comments section there, "Why are you doing this? This hurts your Mom and myself an awful lot. Please come home."
And then everything went bad all at once.
Everything, every single thing, then went to hell. Every person alive, went straight to hell. Well, every person but one. I cannot go to hell. The devil still has a restraining order out on me. The wimp.
And so, as I count the stars going out, Doctor, I sit here in my clever disguise of a stethoscope and a shotgun. What can I say? That is more than Miley Cyrus wears. And of course it is a clever disguise as a horse veterinarian. I am thinking of trying to make a deal with the four horsemen of the apocalypse. And don't tell me that you did not think of that as well.
Should I go on Doctor? Doctor? Doctor!!! Dang.. That is the fourth doctor suicide so far yet today, and it is not even noon yet. This one did not even leave a note. Does one have to pay doctors who take the easy way out? I can clearly see why no politician wishes to talk to voters any more.
If there is a highway to hell, but only a staircase to heaven, that should tell you a great deal about the expected traffic patterns.