~ Where the Sun Will Never Set on Our liberty ~
FAMOUS LIBERALS IN HISTORY
The TITANIC and N. Titlements
N. Titlements was part of the ship's crew of the Titanic. When the ship began to sink, several passengers asked if there was a problem. N. Titlements said they should stop listening to Fox News, and that everything was fine, and anyone who disagreed was a homophobic racist. The passengers replied that there was no Fox News yet. The ship sank but N. Titlements did get on a lifeboat by throwing four others overboard while yelling, "Liberal Lives Matter!"
The US CIVIL WAR and Sosha Justiss
Sosha Justiss was a slave during the Civil War. When Republican Abraham Lincoln tried to free the slaves which began the war, Sosha screamed that Black folks should fight with the South and continue being slaves - since Liberals always know the best thing for African Americans.
DINOSAURS and Cave Liberals
Few historians know this, but humans did exist briefly millions of years ago with the dinosaurs. But one human, OomaWooma Kerree, tried to make peace with the dinosaurs. This concerned a lot of the cave people who pointed out that dinosaurs chanted they wanted to eat humans. And some of the dinosaurs were actually eating humans and burping during the signing of the peace treaty. But OomaWooma said he consulted with his boss, the inventor of the prehistoric golf course, and it would be fine. Humans were eaten. Dinosaurs burped and became even larger and then died of obesity from eating too many humans. Humans returned to earth millions of years later, but alas, no wiser.
ROMAN EMPIRE and Onion Labellus
The Romans did oppress many, including slaves and gladiators. Some of them formed a slave army under Spartacus and for a time they led their way to some victories over the Romans. But Onion Labellus decided that the slaves were indeed in trouble and that they should unionize. After a bit, the union decided to fight only one day a week. They were quickly defeated by the Romans. Well, a few of them were allowed to keep their feet if they agreed to be 24/7 Roman servants.
GENERAL CUSTER and Gunner Controlfreak
General Custer had much success in the civil war for the North. As such he was sent to fight some Western battles. He had some success until a liberal called Gunner Controlfreak was sent from Washington. Gunner said that General Custer must only use the older single shot rifles, and that the new repeating rifles used by the Indians were inhuman. What happened next, was just not nice. An ancestor of Gunner was the one who advised the British during the US Revolutionary War to wear bright clothing, and march in a obvious file while making a lot of noise.
DARK AGES and King Progressive 17
Few people know that during the Dark Ages, that the scientists in one country invented the car, the jet airplane, the secret to eternal life, and rocket ships capable of inter solar system travel. But the scientists were burned at the stake for acting like capitalists. The EPA of the King said that such foolishness damaged the environment on earth, and as one could plainly see, dragons were just not around anymore. One person mentioned that dragons were not around before that time either. But that person was also burned at the stake for attempting free speech.
THE GREAT FLOOD and the Unicorn
Yes, a great flood was coming. Animals were getting onto the ark as the rains raged. But Percy the liberal unicorn had a lot of questions. "Will this be in the bible?" asked Percy. When Percy was told it would be, Percy chose to simply deal with the flood instead due to his hatred of anything having to do with religion. He said that California in the future would have a water shortage, and therefore it would all work out. Percy is now considered, the founder of the first EPA, and was also honored by the ACLU.